


nightmares

by orphan_account



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Panic Attacks, Sort Of, Stream of Consciousness, Suicidal Thoughts, literally nothing in this makes sense, once again... sort of, there might be some metaphors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:34:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23693977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: he was sick of waking up, disjointed memories of the nightmares he'd had over the night turning into sweat droplets on his skin and catalysts for disassociation.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 65





	nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> time to fucking project boys! im also so fucking sorry for writing this lol :/

Grian woke up with a start. He was dripping with sweat, undershirt clinging to his torso.

_ he was trapped in a glass box but there was a door. a door with a lock, but still the same glass as the rest. he rushed to close it and twist the lock shut- _

_ wrong, wrong, wrong - fuck! _

_ the figure shambled closer, hands grabbing at the air frantically and disgustingly, impatiently waiting to finally hold him. _

_ click!  _

_ he slammed against the door, kicking, yelling, trying to break the glass. grian moved away and pressed against the opposite wall. _

_ “i know you love me, grian. i need you. love me. love me love me love me love me LoVe me lOv E mE ME E LVE LOVE LOVE  _

_ it was suffocating. he looked over to mumbo, sitting in the corner. _

His chest was still tight. He had a panic attack in his sleep.

_ mumbo’s eyes dazed over to grian, lids lowering at the sight of the other man’s tears. he was alone. everyone was in the other room.  _

_ “i’m going to live here forever!” fuck fuck fuck i’m dying please help me i can’t live without you _

_ “i’ll always be here,” tautris said, wrapping his arms around grian. he leaned into the touch. _

_ “i’m dying, i’m alone and they’re going to kill me,” he cried, and he was alone. _

_ “fuck! i need you! i can’t be alone!”  _

_ the figure was shambling in the dark. _

Grian swung his legs over the side of the bed. It was a rough night.

_ he wasn’t alone. he was standing in his old school, the figure shambling in the background. he was older now but everyone was the same age. they ran about the halls, chatting. it was nighttime, and he was alone with the stars that glistened through the glass box. xisuma and scar were by his side, jumping through different coloured nether portals. it stayed the same colour. they didn’t change. grian fell to his knees, holding the back of his head and curling inwards. he felt his panic. he felt the effects of the drugs they were using. fuck, fuck - _

_ “shut up! stop it, stop-stop, the colours,” he screamed. scar and xisuma looked down at him, their outlines of rainbow and laughter melding and hissing, branching towards him and grabbing- _

_ he ran down the metal stairs, a glass of scotch in hand, ice sloshing about and spilling. he fell onto the railing and hit his head. mumbo rushed over. _

_ “dude, are you okay?” _

Grian reached into a shulker box and pulled out some ice. He squeezed it and started a breathing pattern.

_ he ran away from mumbo, breaking the glass as he dropped it. blood fell onto his sweater as he ran down the stairs. there was a buffet. he picked up a plate of eggs. iskall and mumbo rushed over. _

_ “it’s dangerous here,” _

_ “you can’t eat that! you’re allergic!” right, he was always allergic to eggs and he never bled. his chest hurt and he gasped for air. the figure was there. mumbo and iskall were never there. he stood, grinning, the glint of his eyes matching his knife. _

_ “you’re mine. you always will be.” _

Grian looked out the window, the pain from the ice kicking in. He focused on that feeling, the cold burning his skin. He thought of Mumbo, and what he was doing today.

_ mumbo, mumbo, _

_ “mumbo!” he was with mumbo, in his vice grip. iskall looked on worriedly. the whole sever sat in the room, watching the movie. _

_ “we need to escape, and fast,” iskall said, staring at the screen. the darkness was moving outside the red glow of the room, blankets and trash mixed together on the floor. the screen was repeating grossly erotic things. grian walked out the door and into the stairwell. the glass was shattered and the scotch was evaporating. he walked into his room with the cold blankets. _

_ through the wall, he heard it. _

_ “i want to live here forever!” _

Grian stood up and got dressed. He had a busy day, and he had to finish his base. He flew over to the mansion, chest aching. It wouldn’t leave his mind.

_ mumbo and iskall ran in, and the glass wall closed. in the middle of the room sat grian, watching the figure move closer. _

_ he hurt.  _

_ mumbo and scar stared. _

_ “i can’t live like this anymore,” grian muttered. tautris sat down beside him. the two people sat there in silence. _

_ “i’ll protect you forever,” he said, hugging him, melting, disappearing. mumbo hugged him. it was sunny. a voice appeared from behind him. _

_ “we need to leave now if we want to escape him,” iskall said, walking over to the boat that had just pulled up. _

_ “how much is it to board?” _

_ “€dxçÙ8¦%k†FÂ” ren replied, colours shifting as sunlight glistened off of the pure blue water. grian and mumbo stood up from the grimy bench and tried not to look down at the floorboards. he lived in the gaps, every bit of darkness, every splinter, every bit of muck. he was made of it, and grian would never escape. _

He had been staring at this prismarine block for a while now, he realised. Enough to make his neighbours worry, apparently. Scar sat beside him. Realising his presence, Grian screamed a profanity.

“Sorry dude, are you okay? I’ve been trying to get your attention for a while,” he said, playing with his beard. Grian looked down.

_ he was always there. the boat reached it’s destination quickly and was tossed aside in the bay. _

_ “what caused that?”  _

_ it was mutated, large flowing fins and horns protruding in every direction. it was a sea creature, it was him. the passengers disembarked, commenting on the uneventful journey. ren was there to greet every passenger. grian walked through the spruce door. _

_ “why would you attack him!” xisuma asked grian, standing in the sand. grian shuffled his feet on the stage. _

_ “i didn’t, i swear, and if i did, he fucking started it!” he yelled back, colourful lights glowing on him. the heavy blue curtains started to close, and grian ran. bdubs started it! he was doing everything wrong! he hid in the shadows of a building. the figure sat beside him. _

_ “i hate you,” _

_ i know _

_ “everyone hates you,” _

_ i know _

_ “you’re a fuckup,” _

_ yeah _

_ “a nutcase that finally went violent,” _

_ i didn’t  _

_ xisuma walked over and handed him a slip of paper. two lifetime bans. grian sighed and looked up wistfully. xisuma stared back down at him. _

_ “get the fuck outta here,” he chuckled. grian saw  _ him  _ in the smirk.  _

_ he walked away and sat in his glass box. there was no door. there was no lock. he sat there and watched the figure shamble towards him. he smiled as he was forcefully grabbed. there was no escape. _

“Grian?” Scar asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

“You zoned out there for a bit again,” Scar said worriedly. Grian gave him an empty smile, small and barely noticeable. 

“Yeah, I just had a nightmare last might and it messed me up real good,” he said, tucking a bit of hair behind his ear. Scar frowned.

“Aw, that’s no good,” he said sympathetically. Grian nodded and stared at Mumbo’s work-in-progress base. He couldn’t be alone again, he  _ would die, he needed him, he can’t- _

Grian sighed and brushed himself down, smiling at Scar.

“I should probably get back to work then,” he said, gesturing at the build. Scar nodded and flew back to his own build. 

Grian let out a breath. He was alone.

**Author's Note:**

> lol someones a bit emo (its me im emo)


End file.
